An autistic woman has been gifted with the superhuman ability to not understand how she’s feeling about a single thing at any given moment, eyewitnesses have claimed.
Miya Wilkes, 29, was blessed with an innate proclivity for having zero sense of what that the Perpetual Bad Feeling sitting in her stomach might be, besides the fact it is Bad.
Wilkes told us: “I never know how to answer the question ‘how are you?’, because that would take frankly ridiculous levels of investigation. That’s an unreasonable amount of emotional labour when Christine from Human Resources was only trying to be polite.”
Wilkes’ therapist, Tricia Squire, 53, commented: “Miya’s extraordinary talent often means sitting through entire sessions going through every possible emotion to see if it fits like we’re shopping for school shoes. At least from the outside, she certainly seems pissed off by the end.”
Wilkes was last seen Googling whether they had invented a Shazam app for emotions.
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