A man who claims that nobody had autism “in his day” is reportedly unaware that he both had autism in his day and that the sun has not yet set on his day.
Gavin Monks, 65 – who books his car in for regular services five years in advance and writes complaint letters to Pizza Express every time their menu changes – frequently laments that “everyone is diagnosing themselves these days”.
Monks explained: “It’s all those young people on TicTac. In my day, we just got on with it, no matter how loudly the washing machine was screaming at us.”
“Has somebody moved a pencil on my desk?” Monks continued, drumming his fingers repetitively. “I need those at perfect intervals – I’m using them to measure the angle of the stars. Now I’m going to have to start all over again.”
Monks could not be reached for further comment, as the incident with the pencil had caused him to immediately need to go and lie down in a dark room.
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