Your family doesn’t hate you – just the neurological blueprint that forms the basis for your entire personality, it has been confirmed. 

A spokesperson for your family said: “We accept you just as you are, but we also wish that you were different in every possible way and that you’d stop constantly info-dumping about your fucking stamp collection.”

They continued: “we do love you, we just hate your autism. If you could dial that back by about 100%, or at the very least find a babysitter for it for family days out, that’d be grand.”

They went on to say that they would not be adjusting their behaviour to make life easier for you, stating: “sure, we could just turn the big light off or stop chatting while the TV is on, but frankly it would be a lot less annoying for us if you dropped this whole autism thing.”

Your autism could not be reached for comment, as that’s not how fucking autism works. 


Like what you’re reading? Make us your new special interest! Help us grow The Daily Tism by sharing our articles, following us on InstagramBluesky, Threads and Facebook, shouting us a coffee on Ko-Fi or joining our bonus-content-packed Club for Terrible Autistics by subscribing to our Patreon. We also now have merch! Check out your favourite headlines in comfy wearable form over on Teemill.

You can also watch episodes one and two of our sketch show, The Daily Tism News, in collaboration with Turtle Canyon Comedy, or listen to episode three in audio form – and tune into our podcast, Autistic Women Oversharing to find out WAY too much about our writers.