The only thing worse than nobody noticing you is somebody acknowledging your stupid, embarrassing existence, a study has revealed.
The study, conducted by researchers who had reportedly “run out of ideas”, showed that while going through life feeling invisible is painful, it’s nowhere near as bad as someone making a comment on a minor change to your appearance.
Dr. Graeme Hart explained: “As humans, we crave connection and validation. But as an autistic human, you’d rather turn to vapour than have anybody notice your new haircut and know that you cared enough to pay someone to manicure your head with scissors.”
“Isolation is terrible,” Hart continued. “But not as terrible as someone looking at your shorn scalp and wondering what the hell you’d been going for.”
Study participant Beth Hapworth, 32, said: “I’d rather spend the rest of my life alone than have my housemates say hi to me when I get up for my midnight shit.”
Hapworth was asked for further comment, but on being perceived by our reporter, turned scarlet and fled in the opposite direction.
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