An autistic woman’s makeup routine is held together solely by concealer and prayers, according to rumours.

Freya Emerson, 25, was reportedly never taught how to do her makeup, nor can she seem to retain anything useful from makeup tutorials other than “start by looking like a model” and “contour”, whatever that means. Emerson has resorted to just putting makeup roughly where it’s supposed to go and hoping it doesn’t migrate to where it’s not supposed to go.

Emerson said: “I don’t really know what bronzer is, but I do have it. It makes me look lightly and theatrically dirty, which’ll be handy if I’m ever cast in a production of Newsies.”

“I’ve settled for going out looking like a lopsided marionette and hoping the gods of indoor lighting will be kind to me.”

When asked what highlighter she uses, Emerson replied: “What? Oh, that’s sweat.”


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