An autistic woman has requested a period of national mourning after the passing of her favourite bowl, sources confirm.
Paige Thomas, 28, from Bradford, described herself as “shattered” by the loss – though admittedly not as shattered as the ceramic bowl, which lay in pieces on the kitchen tiles.
“It was the perfect size and depth,” Thomas explained. “Comforting. Inviting. Kind looking, rather than severe.” How can a bowl look kind? Thomas shrugged. “It just did.”
Thomas has reportedly requested Only You by Yazoo to be part of the service arrangement, along with an original song, Coco Pops Will Never be The Same. Thomas reportedly intends abstain from cereal for the time being – until the family trip to Dunelm on Saturday.
Her statement reads: “My family and I ask for privacy at this time.”
Thomas’ family said: “Paige, it’s a bloody bowl.”
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