After snapping up the black mesh top of her dreams, an autistic woman is devastated to learn that she can’t actually wear it.

Paige Thomas, 26, from Bury, explained: “I look so fuckable in it. Like, Catherine-Zeta-Jones-in-Chicago levels. But I can’t keep it on more than several seconds without wanting to claw at myself or kill somebody. And I still live with my nan.”

According to Thomas, this has happened ever since she can remember. She shivers recalling a 2002 primary school disco, at which a shimmery lilac catsuit came off during Avril Lavigne’s Complicated.

“It’s always been a bloody nightmare,” Thomas said. “Maybe I could break it in, like boots? Can you do that with tops?” Multiple sources have confirmed that you can’t.

Instead of returning the item to the high-street store like a sensible person, as family and friends have suggested, Thomas plans to keep the top at the back of her wardrobe – along with the 41 other previous purchases. “Maybe one day,” she said.

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