Scientists believe they have finally discovered the world’s first neurotypical cat, a new study has revealed.
Quiche, three, is a remarkably non-jumpy, non-erratic British shorthair who adores fireworks, the slamming of doors, and most notably, the clattering of a fork on the kitchen tiles.
Autism researcher Dr. Graeme Hart, said: “Incredibly, we’ve finally found a feline that doesn’t freak out at the noise of the vacuum cleaner, or frantically dart up the stairs when a new person enters the home.”
Quiche said: “It’s a relief to know, to be honest. I’ve always felt like something about me was different. When I see other cats slow blinking at their humans, I’m like, what are you doing? Turns out they were trying to avoid prolonged eye contact.”
Quiche added: “And I can’t fucking get enough of a good house party. Bring it on.”
Dr. Hart continued: “Another sign of autism can be a rather blunt communication style. Quiche however won’t say anything mildly insulting about your new hairstyle, due to his being a cat.”
Hart continued: “Sorry, Quiche is female? That settles it, then. Girls can’t have autism.”
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