Neurotypicals have reportedly decided to celebrate the same thing happening in the same way again by standing outside in the cold and watching ten minutes of fireworks soundtracked by We are the Champions before heading back inside and moving on completely.

Speaking from a rooftop party, which is like a normal party but everyone thinks it’s mad sexy for some reason, 34-year-old Ryan Wilkins said: “I can’t wait for the fireworks! It’s the only time I get to ooh and ahh at the pretty explosives, feel irrationally jubilant for five minutes while I hug and kiss people I normally don’t give a shit about, and then let a creeping sense of dread take hold of me as I sip chilled Prosecco in the dead of winter. Beth, look, they’re lighting the fireworks!”

Wilkins’ girlfriend Beth Hapworth, 37, said: “Before I left the flat today, I told my flatmate I’d see her next year instead of tomorrow! Haha! Because tomorrow is next year! Haha! This is the only time you can make this joke, and then you have to wait another 365 days before you can tell it again! I need to do this otherwise I’ll be forced to confront the fact that time is completely meaningless! Except when there’s fiiiireworks!”

Attendee Pippa Durham, 29, reportedly “cannot wait” for 2026. “The first week of January is full of hope and possibility, and then it all falls apart and you realise you could have joined the gym any time you wanted to because you’d have been just as likely to stick with it in October. But fi-yer-works!”

“Imagine if I find someone to kiss! The only thing better than bright loud things is bright loud things while other people are touching you. FIRE! WORKS!”

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