Allistic and autistic people have agreed to meet in the middle by engaging in medium talk, it has been announced.
In a deal brokered by expert peace negotiators, questions such as “how are you?” will now be answered with “fine, thanks” and no more than one sentence of additional, low-stakes information.
Autistic spokesperson, Paige Thomas, 29, commented: “The neurotypicals wanted to leave it at ‘fine, thanks’, while the autistics wanted to trauma dump about life being one exhausting, relentless march towards the inevitable.”
“Eventually we found some common ground with ‘fine, thanks. Been a bit under the weather’. The autistics liked this because it hinted at something darker they were bravely keeping inside. The neurotypicals liked it because it mentioned the weather.”
Despite the success of the negotiations, Thomas explained that there’s still a long way to go until both sides can meaningfully coexist, adding: “We’ll know we’re getting there when we break the stalemate over the big light.”
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