An autistic woman has confessed to frequently fantasising about making enough money to survive, sources have claimed.
Certified freak Paige Thomas, 28, becomes extremely aroused whenever she imagines herself in a position of relative financial stability. Her most perverse fantasies include having a roof over her head, not becoming another unemployment statistic and surviving long enough to claim a pension that will allow her to die with a shred of dignity.
Thomas said: “Some people think it’s weird, but I’m not hurting anyone. Even just turning the heating on for 10 minutes gives me a thrill. When I’m feeling particularly excitable, I’ll go out and buy a coffee with oat milk. They go, ‘that’s 40p extra’, and I say, ‘Oh, baby, I know. I bloody well know. I’ll take a fucking Nature Valley bar as well.’ Woof.”
“Sometimes I do a bit of online shopping and spread the payments out over three months. It’s like edging, but with money.”
Thomas’s landlord Jay Chester, 45, said: “I get texts from Paige at three in the morning, begging me to increase her rent. She always ends them with that red-faced sweaty emoji.”
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