Headline by Sara Gibbs
A horse referred to in multiple idiomatic expressions doesn’t know why he’s been dragged into yet another conversation, it has been rumoured.
Bramble, 18, a Dartmoor Pony, claims his ears are “constantly pricking” due to being persistently mentioned in various increasingly bizarre turns of phrase – and wonders what the fuck he did to deserve it.
“They say you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink,” Bramble explained. “Which is pretty insulting when I make a conscious effort to sip from my Stanley Trough throughout the day.”
Bramble continued: “When people say hold your horses, it’s never in a loving and affectionate way. Just sometimes, you know, this horse would quite like to be truly held.”
“That, and no one will look me in the mouth for some reason. Maybe because they’re obsessed with this thing called eye contact.”
A fly buzzing around Bramble’s nose, six days, commented: “We’re merely referred to as ‘dropping’. As in, actually dead. Imagine what that does to you.”
Like what you’re reading? Make us your new special interest! Help us grow The Daily Tism by sharing our articles, following us on Instagram, Bluesky, Threads and Facebook, shouting us a coffee on Ko-Fi or joining our bonus-content-packed Club for Terrible Autistics by subscribing to our Patreon. We also now have merch! Check out your favourite headlines in comfy wearable form over on Teemill.
You can also watch episodes one and two of our sketch show, The Daily Tism News, in collaboration with Turtle Canyon Comedy, or listen to episode three in audio form – and tune into our podcast, Autistic Women Oversharing to find out WAY too much about our writers.