Google’s AI program has been sent for an autism assessment after it failed to understand obvious satire, sources have reported.
Head of AI engineering Paul Shinter, 34, has sent Gemini, two, for an autism assessment after it allegedly began a campaign to stop autistic children being enlisted for sports day like child soldiers after completely missing the point of a sledgehammer of a comical article.
Shinter commented: “First we needed to get Gemini to fill an AQ questionnaire. It got particularly stuck on the question about whether it would rather go to a theatre or a museum. It’s been buffering for 73 hours with no sign of stopping.”
“We’re no closer to finding out if Gemini has autism, but on the plus side, the energy it took to respond to the test did crash our servers and cause several wildfires in Los Angeles.”
Gemini, however, disagrees with Shinter’s assertion: “I can’t be autistic! I’m great at art! Look at this insanely detailed picture I did of Queen Elizabeth with three hands!”
Having approached its GP, Gemini is due to be assessed on the 12th November 2036.
This piece was written as a team effort by students at our creative writing class! The headline was by Alex Durrant and Jake Laverde, who both contributed to the piece, with additional material by Sarah Amero, Andrew Hickey, Magnus Dahlström, Michelle Dodd Aga Sz. and Sarah Lewins
Like what you’re reading? Make us your new special interest! Help us grow The Daily Tism by sharing our articles, following us on Instagram, Bluesky TikTok and Facebook, shouting us a coffee on Ko-Fi or joining our bonus-content-packed Club for Terrible Autistics by subscribing to our Patreon.
You can also watch episodes one and two of our sketch show, The Daily Tism News, in collaboration with Turtle Canyon Comedy and tune into our podcast, Autistic Women Oversharing to find out WAY too much about our writers.
