In an entirely precedented turn of events, an autistic woman has been fired by a kitchen company after she tried to fit the kitchen herself.
Paige Thomas, 42, hired Kitchens Kitchens More Kitchens to design and fit her kitchen, which she then failed to allow them to do. “I just had a few thoughts,” Thomas said, baffled, as she sat by a half-done worktop following a full-scale walk out by the hired contractors.
“It was constant,” said one anonymous source at KKMK. “She hovered behind us all day, making unnecessary observations. At one point she got out her own spirit level to check it was all straight. It’s like she thought we’d never fit a bloody kitchen before.”
Thomas, who works in HR and is not qualified in either design or carpentry, failed to notice the long silences and clenched jawlines – but did notice the one-centimetre hole near the skirting board. “I couldn’t stop staring at it,” she admitted. “They told me they were aware, but I just had to get in there with the Pollyfilla while they were at lunch.”
“That was for the electricity,” the source at KKMK said. ““She’s taken to hovering in the top right corner like a bloody kestrel. Enough is enough.”
“I think I’ll probably just do a quick online course on carpentry,” said Thomas, who hasn’t had a hot cooked meal in five weeks. “I mean, how hard can it be?”
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