Your neighbours have reportedly decided to engage in some serious one-upmanship this year by making their autism brighter and gaudier than yours.

Talia and Lottie Fitzgerald, both 39, have spent the past three weeks decorating the exterior of their home with so much autism they nearly caused a neighbourhood power cut when it was time to switch on all the animatronic Sheldon Coopers lining the driveway.

According to residents, the Fitzgeralds’ efforts have utterly eclipsed your own attempt at festive decorating, which is limited to a “no cold callers” sign that tells several lies about sleeping babies and vicious guard dogs just to really keep everyone away.

Lottie Fitzgerald said: “We try to go bigger every year, just so everyone knows how full of autism cheer we are. I want to show people that we’re the kind of couple who make gingerbread Millennium Falcons together, and open presents while we listen to the ‘King’s Speech’ – which is our affectionate name for any episode of Poirot.”

“The trail of chicken nuggets leading up the path really sells it, I think. Especially because it attracts cats and nephews, those most autistic of creatures, from far and wide.”

Talia Fitzgerald has urged The Daily Tism readers not to miss out on a single autism tradition. “Don’t forget to leave your autism stocking out for Dr. House, who drops down the chimney every year to diagnose you with a rare autoimmune condition.”

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