Headline by Sarah Amero
A country that distributes bullets like they’re chocolate bars has decided that eradicating autism is one of its top priorities, it has been reported.
The USA, where you can pick up eggs, milk and lethal ammunition in the same supermarket run, in case you want to make a pancake and then shoot someone in the head, considers people who like trains a bit too much to be its society’s deadliest scourge.
Anti-autism campaigner, Karen Hoyland, 40, commented: “I love my child but I hate his autism. The other day I came home to find him lining up his guns, instead of playing with them like a normal kid.”
“It’s about time someone did something other than repeatedly ‘debunk’ the known causes of autism, like vaccines, Paracetamol and demon possession. Thank God we finally have leaders with worms and shit for brains. I’m off to celebrate by shooting a few rounds straight into the sky.”
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