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03 Jul 2025
  • The Daily Tism The Daily Tism The Daily Tism
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News

Whoops! Autism charity inadvertently helps autistic person  

An autism charity has come under fire today after accidentally helping an actual autistic person, reports have indicated.  Directors at Autism Shrieks have reportedly spent an emergency meeting trying to placate their board after assistance was erroneously provided to autistic adult, Miya Wilkes, 30.  In...
Sara Gibbs, 3 months ago 1 min read  
News, Relationships

Autistic woman worried her mugs have realised she has a favourite 

An autistic woman is facing an ethical dilemma over her preference for drinking out of one particular mug, it has been revealed. Lottie Fitzgerald, 35, from Southsea, has developed a strong attachment to a blue studio pottery mug she was given last Christmas. She reports...
Laura Richmond, 3 months ago 1 min read  
Friendships, News

Huh? Autistic woman wondering how she became centre of friend group drama 

An autistic woman minding her own business has somehow become the scapegoat for friend-group beef that has absolutely nothing to do with her, it has been rumoured. Third-year Law student, Ellie Mulligan, 22, was reportedly “just trying to have a nice, chill time” when she...
Sara Gibbs, 3 months ago 1 min read  
News, Work

Workplace sensory room perfect for wank 

An autistic woman has found a sensory room at work ideal for mid-shift masturbation sessions, it has been reported. Emma Bernard, 31, from Bury, has been popping to the designated space for a bit of relief when it “all gets too much”. “This is Emma’s...
Elsa Williams, 3 months ago 1 min read  
Friendships, News

AuDHD woman who forgot to text you back a decade ago wondering if it’s too late  

An AuDHD woman who forgot to reply to your message ten years ago has spent the subsequent decade deliberating over how to re-instigate contact, sources have claimed.  Freya Emerson, 35, reportedly failed to respond to your casual request for a coffee as she didn’t know...
Sara Gibbs, 3 months ago 1 min read  
News, Work

Vaccines cause autism? Autistic woman longs to jab neurotypical colleague 

Despite scientific research having conclusively debunked the claim,  an autistic woman is still hoping vaccines do, in fact, cause autism, it has been rumoured.  Emma Bernard, 27, from Ancoats, has reportedly been seeking out a prime opportunity to inoculate allistic colleague Deborah Whitehead, 44, during...
Elsa Williams, 3 months ago 1 min read  
News

What now? Woman completes level three of autism  

An autistic woman who completed level three of autism has been left wondering what the hell comes next, sources have claimed.  According to eyewitnesses, Miya Wilkes, 33, from West Ecclesfield, is “miserably twiddling her thumbs” after finishing what is supposed to be autism’s final chapter,...
Elsa Williams, 3 months ago 1 min read  
Health, News

Wes Streeting pledges to tackle mental health crisis with “a net and a gun” 

Speaking at a press conference earlier today, the health secretary Wes Streeting announced his radical new plan to reduce government spending. Streeting, described by late journalist Dawn Foster as a “lickspittle Tory cunt”, took to the podium wearing a tweed suit, deerstalker, and carrying an...
Guy Kelly, 3 months ago 2 min read  
Family, Health, News

Autistic woman in need of therapy as long as she continues having parents 

An autistic woman is expected to need therapy for as long as she continues having parents, it has been reported. Ellie Mulligan, 29, has been going to therapy ever since she learned that other people don’t feel terrible all the time. Although she has made...
Sarah Amero, 3 months ago 2 min read  
News

Oh no! Autistic woman pronounced word out loud for the first time 

An autistic woman is reportedly in despair after failing to pronounce a word correctly when saying it aloud for the first time – despite having read it over and over in various books multiples times, a LOT. Miya Wilkes, 29, from Tuebook, only realised “polemic”...
Elsa Williams, 4 months ago 1 min read  
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