Autistic relationship ends in heartbreak over incompatible Star Trek opinions
An autistic couple have mutually ended their relationship over differing Star Trek opinions, sources have reported. Jay Chester, 35, and Ryan Wilkins, 27, were initially delighted to discover that they both loved the long running sci-fi franchise, with both partners being unable to believe their...
AuDHD woman at gig who can’t remember lyrics really is artist’s biggest fan
An AuDHD woman at a gig reportedly singing along to about a third of the songs, if she’s lucky, genuinely does listen to the artist’s music all the time, it has been insisted. Emma Bernard, 24, who can reportedly “sort of dip in and out...
Convenient! Air fryer allows autistic man myriad new ways to forget to eat
A brand new air fryer, with options to bake, defrost, dehydrate, and more, has allowed an autistic man unparalleled new ways to forget to prepare and eat food, according to sources. Onye Egbuchunam, 43, recently bought the 6-in-1 double-chambered air fryer as a convenient way...
Dark cosy nook delighted to see you again
The dark corner of your flat where you curl up and hide in the evening is once again looking forward to sheltering you from the bright and terrible complexities of the world, it has been reported. The Dark Cosy Nook, two, which started its life...
Chic! Autistic woman’s autumn/winter runny nose seamlessly replaced by spring/summer runny nose
An autistic woman has been labelled a “trendsetter” after demonstrating how to seamlessly switch from a cold-weather runny nose to a hot-weather runny nose, it has been reported. Mary Walker, 43, believes that perpetually-drippy noses are a timeless classic, best paired with a nasty crumpled-up...
Explained! How to move countries and take on new identity after autistic joke gets taken seriously
We’ve all been there. Whom amongst us has not made a little joke for a bit of fun, and then looked on in horror as it was taken seriously, frozen in silent dread as the realisation hits that the person you are talking to now...
AuDHDer outnerded by people who actually remember the things they read
An auDHD person has reportedly been well and truly outnerded just because their fellow nerds can actually retain tiny details like plot and character. Kit McGodden, 34, loves all things fantasy, but their autistic desire to know everything about their favourite books, films and games...
Treat yourself! Autistic woman buys yet more tat from dead people’s houses
An autistic woman is living her best life by filling her home with items that other people have thrown away, sources have claimed. Charity shop menace Beth Hapworth, 35, appears to be enjoying an inexhaustible supply of dopamine, having turned her kitchen into an homage...
Autistic bearded man horrified by food near mouth
An autistic man who has intentionally grown a luscious and full beard/moustache combination on his own actual face is filled with a sense of visceral horror of food coming anywhere near it, according to sources. Mac Wheatley, 36, purposefully grew the collection of thick, dark...
Autistic woman who got dressed in dark would be wearing that outfit regardless
An autistic woman asked by a colleague if she got dressed in the dark absolutely did – but that’s not why she’s wearing that, eyewitnesses have reported. Beth Hapworth, 44, reportedly arrived at her job as an events coordinator for a small conference centre dressed...
