Astronauts working on the International Space Station were dazzled by a sudden burst of flirting so bright that it briefly illuminated most of Shropshire, NASA has reported.
The rare phenomenon was spotted by astronaut Paige Thomas, 38, who initially thought the disturbance in the atmosphere was an extinction-level event. The scientific marvel, however, was revealed to be the unwitting work of 35-year-old autistic woman, Mary Walker, who had stopped to have an unknowingly loud and red-faced chat with the attractive man who’d just joined her book group.
Astronaut Paige Thomas, 38, explained: “As we orbit the Earth I keep an eye out for the wonders that are visible from space: The Great Barrier Reef, the Pyramids of Giza, Wales. But this momentous day marks the first time that inept flirting has been actually spotted past the ionosphere.”
Despite believing her affection to be deeply hidden, Walker’s flirting involved: staring unblinkingly at the man, using phrases like “we could kiss if you like”, and removing multiple layers of clothing.
Her crush, Noah Michaels, 33, also autistic, has yet to notice anything unusual or indicative in her behaviour.
“I secretly quite fancy her,” Michaels said. “But I think she’s just being really friendly. She asked if I’d like to go back to her flat and take my clothes off, so maybe she’s got a really warm house or something? I didn’t really understand.”
Thomas, and the other astronauts on the ISS, could not be approached for further comment as they were too busy asking Ground Control for some popcorn.
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