An autistic woman with auditory processing disorder who didn’t hear what you just said is about to take a risk and assume it was a joke, sources have revealed.
Christine Smout, 40, can barely process a single word you’re saying in the noisy, overcrowded pub you suggested meeting in. Despite straining her ears and staring intently at your mouth in an attempt to lip-read, all Smout can hear is a rhythmic series of noises not unlike those of Charlie Brown’s teacher in the Peanuts cartoons.
Smout said: “I don’t know how many more ‘wow’s and ‘yeah’s I have left in me. I’m about to be rumbled if I don’t switch it up, but honestly the last ten minutes have been totally incomprehensible to me.”
Smout has been attempting to read your facial expressions with limited success. “You look… serious? I think? But not sad or angry. I don’t think so, anyway. Oh no, you’re looking at me for a response! If it’s a joke and I don’t laugh, I’ve totally fucked it.”
Smout then laughed raucously, which confused you because nothing about home-destroying termites is even remotely funny.
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