An autistic woman’s experience is akin to being an anthropomorphic animal figurine that’s found itself living in a perfect pink world in Malibu against its will, sources have revealed.
Paige Thomas, 32, reportedly feels confused as to why she’s unwillingly found herself in a kingdom obsessed with socialising, shopping and going to the hairdressers – when she should be baking treats and living in a windmill.
“I feel like a small child has mixed us up by mistake and I’ve landed in the wrong box,” Thomas commented. “Surely that’s the reason I’m stuck a glaring bright world with people in immaculate outfits who won’t stop smiling manically at each other. No, I don’t want to come to a party.”
“Really, I should be by a vegetable garden swaying on a sage green canopy swing seat,” Thomas continued. “And maybe occasionally popping round to Mr. Otter’s, who will greet me from his family cottage wearing waistcoat and tiny red bow tie.”
Thomas was last seen begging to borrow a woman’s sunglasses, seeing as she was only wearing them on her head.
Like what you’re reading? Make us your new special interest! Help us grow The Daily Tism by sharing our articles, following us on Instagram, Bluesky TikTok and Facebook, shouting us a coffee on Ko-Fi or joining our bonus-content-packed Club for Terrible Autistics by subscribing to our Patreon.
You can also watch episodes one and two of our sketch show, The Daily Tism News, in collaboration with Turtle Canyon Comedy and tune into our podcast, Autistic Women Oversharing to find out WAY too much about our writers.