An autistic woman has been left “emotionally devastated” by having to throw away some old Christmas decorations, sources have said.

Emma Bernard, 32, was seen holding a cardboard box full of grotty tinsel and scratched baubles, whispering apologies like it was a bag of kittens she was about to throw into a canal.

Friend and eyewitness Talia Cohen, 33, explained: “It was harrowing. She kept saying sorry and telling them that they had ‘been good little baubles’, and then bursting into tears and apologising all over again.”

It is believed by experts that Bernard’s intense feelings of guilt and sorrow stem from her worries that the disgusting, moth-eaten, broken decorations – many of which are literal fire hazards – would themselves feel bad about being thrown away, like they hadn’t done enough of a good job making the house festive every December for the last fifteen years.

Talking to reporters while holding a particularly foul bauble, Bernard said: “Look at this one, though? I know it’s cracked, but what if I kept just this one? And oh God, did you know the tip doesn’t even recycle fake Christmas trees? They just BIN them? Oh, I can’t.”

At the time of publication, Bernard was still being consoled by Cohen, who had accidentally set her off again by suggesting also getting rid of Bernard’s favourite mug, which she’s had since university and currently has more chips and cracks than a fish supper served in a copy of Playboy.


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