An autistic woman has expressed gratitude for “the role of a lifetime” having been cast as the main antagonist in her lifelong family drama, sources have revealed.
Growing up, Paige Thomas, 31, from Dewsbury, was typecast as “spoiled” and “absolutely impossible to please” – despite having repeatedly been given plates of mashed swede she hadn’t asked for, and having been dragged to umpteen children’s birthday parties she hadn’t wanted to go to.
“I think it’s important we show how much we love her,” her mother Liz Thomas, 58, told us. “Which is why on every birthday, I bring up her little childhood tantrums.”
She continued: “The breakdown of my marriage was entirely down to Paige. Yes, we were entirely incompatible, what with her father disappearing to go on mysterious fishing trips every weekend. But it’s definitely down to Paige.”
“It’s also her sister’s fault. But conveniently, never at the same time. Someone has to be the understudy.”
According to sources, this state of affairs is likely to change in an hour or two, when Paige Thomas will be recast as the glue that holds the family together.
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