An autistic woman is terrified of ruining a new notebook with her unoriginal, humiliating internal monologue, sources have revealed.
Emma Bernard, 29, who purchased the A5 floral-patterned notebook last week while visiting an art gallery, is reportedly determined that it will remain on the shelf until she is living an interesting enough existence to warrant writing in it.
Bernard explained: “I refuse to these ruin crisp, carefully stitched together sheets of paper with my silly and uninspiring ideas. Mine aren’t even Pukka pad worthy yet. Writing a simple sentence right now would feel insulting to the notebook itself, like taking a gargantuan shit inside the cover.”
“The day my life starts to feel more vivid and romantic, I’ll consider upgrading to the notebook,” she continued. “Might I start becoming a more adventurous and interesting person if I stop being terrified to write down my own thoughts and feelings? Yes. But alas.”
“The pleasure of a notebook is in the promise of empty pages, right? And I know my eighty-year-old self, desperate to read about late-twenties Emma, will feel so grateful for the clean, unsullied nothingness of blank page after blank page, knowing it’s all ahead of her.”
Bernard was last seen purchasing an exact copy of an identical notebook as back up, which she is reportedly also too afraid to write in.
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