An autistic couple have mutually ended their relationship over differing Star Trek opinions, sources have reported.
Jay Chester, 35, and Ryan Wilkins, 27, were initially delighted to discover that they both loved the long running sci-fi franchise, with both partners being unable to believe their luck in “finding another Trekkie who’s autistic”.
The couple agreed that their date night Star Trek marathons started off great, both joining in with every Vulcan neck pinch, Riker manoeuvre and bout of ship’s turbulence. However, it was across the multiple series that the cracks started to show in Chester and Wilkins’ relationship.
Chester explained: “Ryan hadn’t seen a lot of episodes before we’d met, so I was a bit worried about suspension of disbelief. I know people can get phased about things like the never-ending supply of torpedoes, and parallel worlds with eye-patches and skimpy clothing. I mean, good luck finding a sci-fi series without evil bisexual doppelgangers!”
Wilkins agreed: “The thing that got me is the linguistic choices. After hundreds of years of space travel, they have got to stop using ‘space’ words as modifiers. ‘Ooh, it’s a stardate; it’s a space station; it’s a spatial anomaly’ – of course it is! You’re in space!”
This reportedly spelled the end for their formerly loving relationship, as Wilkins’ repeated flinches during every episode were really jolting the sofa.
“I don’t get it!” Chester said. “You could accept when Rumpelstiltskin came to life and tried to kill everyone? Human devolution into lizards? That time on the planet of the horny Aryans when a teenager got the death penalty for falling through a window? But you’re upset that a show called Star Trek makes reference to its location?”
When approached for a final comment, Wilkins said, “As Jay likes it so much, I’m giving them space! Or, sorry, ‘space’ space.”
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