An autistic person has successfully managed to ignore their bladder so they can scroll pointlessly for one more hour, according to sources.

Navya Randhawa, 40, desperately needed the bathroom approximately 30 minutes ago. Instead of relieving themselves, they have been continuously refreshing Instagram in the hopes of a meagre dopamine hit from watching a shirtless man make a “next-level” egg sandwich.

Randhawa said: “I’ll go as soon as I’ve finished… this. Any minute now, I’ll summon the momentum to get up and go to the bathroom, because historically I’ve been so good at that.”

Randhawa reportedly tries to keep their scrolling to a minimum by reducing the number of social media apps they use. “I refuse to download TikTok, because then I’d just be watching TikToks all day. I’ve compromised by just having Instagram, which I use to watch TikToks all day.”

“Hang on. Just one more. This woman’s explaining that my dog might be a narcissist, and that’s hardly the kind of thing I can just ignore.”

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