An autistic man at a networking event is hoping no one has noticed him quietly edging towards the buffet table, according to reports.

By some accident of fate, 26-year-old Jack Harrington has found himself at a networking drinks for sales professionals. Although the other attendees seem to have mistaken him for the sort of nightmare-person who likes to win friends and influence people, Harrington has made it halfway across the room by incrementally shuffling towards the canapés – the only reason anyone who isn’t properly weird should attend a business event outside of working hours.

Harrington said: “I can tell nobody wants to be the first to make a move on the arancini. I have no such qualms, although every time I get a bit closer I move into someone’s line of sight and they press a business card into my hand.”

“You can’t just ignore them and walk away, either. I have to compliment the business card itself, like that bit in American Psycho. Then I have to listen to them wang on about innovative solutions or whatever, stuck there like Odysseus tying himself to the mast as the cucumber sandwiches issue their seductive siren call.”

Harrington finally made it to the table, where he stuffed as many spring rolls into his pockets as he could before bolting for the door.


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