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    Elsa Williams

    Elsa Williams is a comedy writer from the North West. She’s written for Newsjack and The Independent, and was shortlisted for Sid Gentle’s Thousand Films Screenwriting Competition. She once got visibly excited for a pasta pot on the way to somebody's funeral.
    News

    Demon spirit just woman who got out the bath asking you to pass her a towel 

    A demon spirit initially sighted by a man in his apartment was actually an autistic woman who just wanted someone to pass her a towel, it has been revealed. Dexter Livingstone, 31, was lying in bed typing a WhatsApp message when he spotted the vengeful...
    Elsa Williams, 7 months ago 1 min read  
    News

    Zombie sighting just autistic woman who checked out of conversation 

    An apparent zombie sighting has since been revealed to be an autistic woman who had zoned out of a situation she wished she wasn’t physically present in, sources have confirmed.  Emma Bernard, 31, from Bolton, was in fact alive and breathing whilst cousin Megan Aldrich,...
    Elsa Williams, 7 months ago 1 min read  
    Fashion, News

    Uncanny! Autistic woman dons neurotypical Halloween costume for third decade running  

    An autistic woman has announced plans to dress up as a neurotypical woman for the 11,162th time in their lifetime this Halloween, it has been reported.  Natasha Weaving, 30, from Elton, spends the whole year dressing “somebody much less weird” than she actually is –...
    Elsa Williams, 7 months ago 1 min read  
    News

    Horror! Pink willy witches coven actually hen night 

    An autistic woman who swore she spotted a pink willy witches coven actually stumbled across a hen night, it has been confirmed.  Emma Bernard, 25, from Liverpool, observed the terrifying scene whilst walking home through the city centre last Saturday evening.  Bernard explained: “A loud...
    Elsa Williams, 7 months ago 1 min read  
    News

    She’s gone method! Woman inspired by Exorcist refuses to leave bed  

    An autistic woman recently inspired by The Exorcist (1973) is refusing to leave her bed this Halloween, according to reports.  Siobhan Moorton, 34, from Newton-le-Willows, issued the statement: “I’m not depressed, I’m possessed.”  “Honestly, I’ve been having such a rough mental health time recently,” Moorton’s...
    Elsa Williams, 7 months ago 1 min read  
    News

    Phew! Autistic person who bumped into acquaintance relieved to be sucked down grate by clown 

    An autistic person about to risk running into somebody they knew in public described themselves as “grateful” to be dragged away by a scary clown, say sources. Kit McGodden, 26, was walking through the ASDA car park when they spotted former schoolteacher Sarah Harrow, 56,...
    Elsa Williams, 7 months ago 1 min read  
    News

    Fright night? Autistic woman frightened every night by The Thoughts 

    An autistic woman doesn’t have to wait until Halloween to freak herself out due to grappling with existential despair 365 nights a year, it has been reported.  Every evening, Niamh Callaghan, 31, from Manchester, journeys through a real-life horror film – happening in her head. ...
    Elsa Williams, 7 months ago 1 min read  
    News

    Crazy! Dress like a mental patient this Halloween with joggers and a hoodie 

    Forget the straitjacket costumes! It’s time to REALLY dress mentally ill. Frighten all your friends on October 31st… by dressing like a regular person. To get that fresh-from-the-insane-asylum look, you’ll need a comfy sweater, some tracksuit bottoms and… wait, that’s it, you’re done! Who would...
    Elsa Williams, 7 months ago 1 min read  
    News

    Terrifying! Autistic woman unmasks for Halloween 

    An autistic woman has scared everybody shitless by unmasking her autism for Halloween, according to reports. Emma Bernard, 30, from Leicester, has spent the day terrifying colleagues at the office by commiting to the horrifying act of being herself. Despite one overzealous coworker turning up...
    Elsa Williams, 7 months ago 1 min read  
    Lifestyle, News

    Scary! Neurotypical decorates home with chilling motivational quotes 

    A neurotypical woman has reportedly terrified guests with her collection of eerie wall quotes.  Deborah Whitehead, 57, from Cheshire, has chosen to furnish her home with obnoxiously positive wall prints, even in the bathroom – in case you were ever thinking about going in there...
    Elsa Williams, 7 months ago 1 min read  
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