Autistic woman fine with horror films freaked out by terse sounding email
An autistic woman who can cope with the head-spinning scene from The Exorcist (1973) has been left fearing for her life after receiving an email response that seemed slightly clipped, according to reports. Sources say Siobhan Moorton, 31, spotted the message in her inbox this...
Our little pumpkin! Neurotypical woman admits she fucked a vegetable
A neurotypical woman has announced her pregnancy on Instagram by suggesting an orange spherical gourd gave her its seed, it has been confirmed. Becky Armitage, 29, from Cheshire – who posted: “I, along with my husband Ryan, am overjoyed to welcome our little pumpkin” –...
Woman excited to make soup remembers she fucking hates soup
An autistic woman “looking forward to making soup this autumn” has just recalled how much she actually fucking hates it, sources have confirmed. Miya Wilkes, 31, from Sheffield, was initially thrilled at the prospect of chopping almost-expired vegetables and draining thick, murky water from cans...
Autistic woman who “loves everything fall” breaks leg tumbling from window
A autistic woman who saw several Instagram posts captioned “get fall ready” took this as a literal instruction and has hurled herself from an upstairs window, reports have indicated. Sarah Harrow, 33, from Huddersfield, hates pumpkin-spice lattes, but loves the feeling of descending from a...
Honestly! Autistic woman REALLY glad she went
An autistic woman reluctantly dragged to a bar by a group of friends has insisted she had a really good time, sources have revealed. Emma Bernard, 27, from Netherton, described haunting waves of loneliness washing over her as the night progressed – which she could...
Woman tackles mental health stigma by going on about issues
An autistic woman is bravely tackling mental health stigma by constantly oversharing at work, according to reports. Emma Bernard, 29, from Wallasey, has inspired colleagues by bringing her complex history of mental illnesses to the weekly Zoom team meeting. “It’s time to break the silence,”...
Inspiring! This autistic woman says fuck the planet
An autistic woman is challenging autism stereotypes by refusing to give a shit about the environment, according to reports. Ellie Mulligan, 24, from Chorlton, stated she grew weary of hearing “What, like Greta?” every time she revealed her diagnosis to friends and family. Since then,...
Autism diagnostic services post women “sorry we missed you” slips
Autism diagnostic teams around the country have begun to post “sorry we missed you” cards through the letterboxes of late-diagnosed autistic women, reports say. According to sources, the card reads: “We’re sorry we couldn’t deliver your autism diagnosis to you in childhood. Unlike Michael, who...
“I’m actually pretty chill” says autistic woman poised like praying mantis
An autistic woman who likes to think of herself as “quite zen” regularly sits like a praying mantis, according to sources. Beth Hapworth, 26, from Crosby, is reportedly incapable of putting her feet on the floor or her arms by her sides at any given...
Most dramatic fortnight of women’s life coincides with therapist’s annual leave
An autistic woman has been left “shocked and upset” that her Extremely Difficult Time has conflicted with her therapist’s yearly holiday to Greece, it has been rumoured. Despite having answered “fine” when she was asked about her how her week had been in her most...
