An AuDHD woman would literally rather expire on the spot than have to watch one single second of an unskippable ad, it has been confirmed. 

Christine Smout, 46, will reportedly do anything to avoid sitting through 30 unsolicited seconds about the fucking postcode lottery including, but not limited to, turning the volume right down, playing exactly 30 seconds of a gem-swapping game and clawing her own eyes out. 

Smout commented: “Fuck off. Fuck off. Get off my screen. Fuck OFF.” She continued to mutter angrily to herself for the entire duration of an ad about some disgusting contraption designed to dislodge earwax.

She then fell silent, but resumed her angry diatribe after the short clip she was watching of Jon Stewart was cut off mid-sentence for the third time in as many minutes.

“This happens every time I watch YouTube,” Smout explained. “Despite me having repeatedly told it to fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck. Off.”

At the time of publication, unskippable ads had yet to fuck off.

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