The general public has been asked to stop assuming all celebrities are people with neurotypicalism, as it’s impossible to make that judgment without proper qualifications. 

Dr. Karen Hoyland, a researcher at the Institute for Tea, Biccies and ITV, made the statement explaining that neurotypicalism is a serious condition and explaining that it’s impossible to tell from someone’s public persona whether or not they have it. 

Dr. Hoyland explained: “When you go around flippantly deciding everyone is neurotypical, you undermine the very real struggles that neurotypical celebrities face – a lack of imagination, morning chat shows filled with inane drivel, a compulsive need to shout every question in their guest’s faces like a hyperactive toddler.” 

“In the entertainment industry, being a normie is an active impediment. Some celebrities may not be ready to come out as neurotypical, as the stigma is so great. Do you want to hear songs about heartbreak and struggle from someone who can read and respond appropriately to social cues? No. Just ask Gary Barlow.”

An anonymous celebrity agreed: “I have been trying to hide my neurotypicalism for years, but people keep saying that my lyrics reveal all the symptoms, like tired clichés, unreasonable demands and really lazy rhyming schemes. I tried explaining that whatever I said, whatever I did, I didn’t mean it, but apparently that’s some sort of neurotypical catchphrase.”

“It hasn’t hurt my career so far, but I’ve been hiding behind all sorts of razzle dazzle, maybe people will stop asking questions if I go onstage covered head to toe in itchy sequins and set off a bunch of fireworks.”

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