One individual has made the regrettable mistake of travelling to an autistic woman’s home city to socialise with her, having no idea of the itinerary of educational activities she has planned for the visit, sources have revealed.

When Kit McGodden, 32, announced their intention to visit Alma Montague, 34, Montague decided to express her love and appreciation through the medium of a day-long bespoke historical tour, written and led by herself. She did not feel it was necessary to check if that was something McGodden would enjoy, because obviously everyone would enjoy that. 

One highlight was two hours in the local cathedral. “The tombs and the mortuary chests here are just so fit,” Montague enthused. “I realise that ‘fit’ might not be everyone’s first choice of adjective to describe 900-year-old stone boxes full of human remains, but here we are.”

“Just wait until you see the cadaver tomb of Richard Foxe, the bishop of Winchester who died in 1528,” she continued. “It’s got a stone effigy of a decaying corpse on it, to remind us all of our mortality.” At this point, a small group of tourists assembled around the pair, having mistaken Montague for an official tour guide. Several of the tourists have since sought counselling, having been subjected to Montague’s detailed descriptions of the process of bodily decomposition.

“I have to admit, this wasn’t quite what I had in mind,” commented McGodden. “I thought we might go to the pub.”

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