An AuDHD woman was forced to reckon with the transience of existence this morning when she remembered halfway through brushing her teeth that she has a driving lesson in three days, it has been rumoured.
Christine Smout, 24, reportedly felt her blood run cold and saw the colour drain from her face in her reflection as she contemplated the prospect of continuing the course of driving lessons she began of her own free will, and actually pays money for. Eyewitnesses reported that as the toothpaste seemed to turn to ashes in her mouth, Smout was momentarily staggered by the crushing sense of her own mortality, as if a pale horse bearing Death himself had appeared stark against the morning sky.
According to loved ones, Smout, who has been learning to drive for seven months, regards each lesson with the kind of dread usually reserved for such life-altering events as undergoing major surgery or performing a parachute jump, citing the enforced proximity to a virtual stranger, the pressure of controlling a potentially deadly machine, and being implicitly judged by someone her brain has categorised as an authority figure.
Smout commented: “Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no! I completely forgot about it! I thought I had longer.
“This is it,” Smout added. “I can feel death’s icy grip upon me. I suppose I just have to make the best of these final three days.”
Smout’s partner, Emma Bernard, 26, commented: “I’m not sure how, but every time she talks about the driving lesson, her voice takes on the quality of the dolorous peal of a graveyard chapel’s bell.”
“Apparently this is a timely reminder that life is fundamentally ephemeral, and that even the brightest days are tinged with the knowledge that nothing lasts forever, and one day all will become dust,” Bernard continued. “I don’t know why she’s putting herself through this. I offered to teach her myself, but she just said something about not wanting to see the consuming void of oblivion in my gaze every time she looks at me.”
Smout’s driving instructor, Noah Michaels, 58, said: “Chris has got a way to go yet, but once she gets a bit more confidence behind the wheel, she’ll be absolutely fine. Actually, you’ve just reminded me I’ve had a cancellation for this afternoon. I’ll message her now and see if she wants to bring this week’s lesson forward. In fact, better yet, I’ll give her a call.”
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