An AuDHD woman is desperately trying to catch up on the last two decades of pop culture after arriving late to a fancy-dress party, eyewitnesses have claimed.
Ffiona Maw, 39, became late after giving herself five minutes to do her hair and discovering that five minutes was not as long as she thought it was. She arrived at 34-year-old Siobhan Moorton’s party flustered and stressed, walking into a room of strangers dressed as people she might have recognised if she didn’t constantly watch and listen to the same things over and over again.
“I’m Cher from Clueless,” said Maw. “But nobody seems to know who that is. Someone asked if I was Sabrina Carpenter – I don’t have a clue who that is. A third Carpenter sibling that Karen and Richard kept locked in the basement?”
“There’s a guy here dressed as a sofa, and his boyfriend’s come as some sort of disgraced American politician,” Maw continued. “At least six people seem to be cardinals in the Catholic Church, and Siobhan’s mum has just come in dressed as the Suez Canal. Am I being Punk’d? When I yelled ‘come on out, Ashton!’ everyone just stared blankly at me.”
“Everyone’s talking about something called a ‘Severance’, which as far as I can tell is a bit like the short-lived sci-fi show Dollhouse,” added Maw. “After I said as much, Siobhan had to pull me aside and catch me up on Joss Whedon. God, I hate everything.”
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