A friend who invited you over for dinner now wishes they’d never asked for your dietary requirements, met you, or been born, it has been rumoured. 

Olivia Buckingham, 32, who just thought it would be nice to have you over for a catch-up, reportedly didn’t expect to have to go to culinary school in order to be able to feed you.

Buckingham said: “When you said ‘I’m too difficult to cater for I’ll just bring my own stuff’, I was a little offended. Now I wish I’d just let you sort yourself out.”

“What am I supposed to make for a vegetarian lactose-intolerant diabetic with 57,200 food aversions?” Buckingham continued. “Like, just salad?”

You responded by clearing your throat awkwardly before explaining the precise vegetables you can and can’t tolerate in your salad, depending on how they’re prepared – along with your myriad rules about salad dressing. 

You were last seen at Buckingham’s house, awkwardly pushing your food around your plate because you forgot to mention you hate artichokes.


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