A perfectly good meal of pasta, bolognese sauce and cheese has been brutally killed by arriving needlessly mixed together, sources have revealed.

When your pasta was brought the table, you were dismayed to find all the elements were mixed in – rather than resting prettily on the top of your meal like a little hat.

The rigatoni – which reportedly enjoys its own space at the best of times – was too soggy and distressed to comment. Meanwhile, you gingerly speared a piece with your fork, wondering why everybody is obsessed with making all food as wet and as slimy as possible.

The chef, who was a family friend you really, really didn’t want to offend, asked: “Is everything okay?”


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