An autistic woman has been left “distraught” after discovering that a New Year’s outfit that makes her look as “fit as fuck” absolutely kills, according to sources.
Paige Thomas, 26, from Fazakerley, had optimistically ordered the sequinned wrap mini-dress in the Boxing Day sales – despite routinely having to cut the labels out of her knickers.
“I was deceived into thinking it might actually be comfortable, what with it being studded entirely with flamingo-pink sequins,” Thomas told us. “The label says Boohoo. Which is pretty much how I feel wearing it.”
Thomas insisted: “It’s all worth it to feel like a cushion my mad aunt Lesley purchased during a manic episode.”
In her eagerness, Thomas is said to have ordered a glittery headband to match – without considering that the sheer weight of it would make her feel like King Charles at his coronation.
Thomas was last seen counting down to midnight, and, when the clock struck twelve, ripping off both the dress and the headband in front of terrified onlookers.
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