Autism can be reversed by simply turning around and re-entering the womb, a new study has revealed.
The study, conducted on triplets in America, discovered that autism could become “reduced to an indistinguishable level” if children with autism are willing to go through what researchers are calling an “unborning process”.
Study author Dr. Graeme Hart, from the University of Irredeemable Cunts (UCunt) explained: “We first tried a programme of behavioural interventions, quack diets and a little light torture, just for shits and giggles.”
“That made two of the kids less annoying to their parents,” he continued. “But the other one wasn’t playing ball, so we just shoved her back up there.”
“Is she happier? God knows. Does she still have autism? Probably. But now we don’t have to hear about it,” he elaborated. “At least, not with any clarity.”
The anonymous child in question said: “Mfffffff mfffffffffff,” which we were able to translate as: “At least it’s better than a gluten-free diet.”
Like what you’re reading? Make us your new special interest! Help us grow The Daily Tism by sharing our articles, following us on Instagram, Bluesky, Threads and Facebook, shouting us a coffee on Ko-Fi or joining our bonus-content-packed Club for Terrible Autistics by subscribing to our Patreon. We also now have merch! Check out your favourite headlines in comfy wearable form over on Teemill.
You can also watch episodes one and two of our sketch show, The Daily Tism News, in collaboration with Turtle Canyon Comedy, or listen to episode three in audio form – and tune into our podcast, Autistic Women Oversharing to find out WAY too much about our writers.
