An autistic woman has spent the best part of six-and-a-half hours drafting a work email – and is reportedly still at it, sources have claimed.

Beth Hapworth, 29, from Barnsley, has concluded the way to appear “normal” in all written exchanges is by microanalysing every single word to an abnormal degree.

“They say writing is rewriting. So it’s important to treat every email like I’m James Joyce penning Ulysses,” Hapworth commented. “I’m pretty sure my manager will appreciate the effort, despite it being at the expense of all my other tasks. Including 51 other unanswered emails.”

“I’ve spent two hours and 16 minutes alone choosing the perfect sign-off,” Hapworth continued. “Maybe I should go with ‘yours sincerely’. I was being sincere. Though perhaps that’s too sincere?” 

Hapworth’s line manager Paula Mulberry, 47, said: “I simply asked Beth to send over a PDF. Where the hell is it?” 


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