An autistic man has been left confused after being rejected by a woman he has been nothing but aloof and judgemental towards, sources have reported.

Fitzwilliam Darcy, 28, from Pemberley, asked Elizabeth Bennet, 20, to marry him – but received a resounding “no”, much to his surprise. He is now wondering if it had something to do with the way he spelled out every reason not to marry her before proposing, or the time he insulted her aloud at a recent party.

Darcy said: “I just call things as I see them. Everyone at Meryton is my social inferior because I am actual nobility, and I’m absolutely loaded to boot. And they all look like they got dressed in the dark – if I lied and said they looked good, they’d keep dressing like that. And that’s not good for anyone, is it?

“And everybody misunderstood me, as per bloody usual,” Darcy continued. “Elizabeth wasn’t handsome enough to tempt me to dance – because I hate parties. She’d have to have been a solid 12 to convince me and, as it goes, she’s a 10.”

“I really thought she was going to accept my proposal. We’d shared more than seven fleeting glances – I counted! Not to mention all the witty repartee, which might have looked to the casual observer like we were trading barbs, but I was incredibly turned on the whole time, so it was definitely witty repartee.”

“All those times I showed up at social gatherings just to spend time with her, too. Sure, sometimes I just said nothing and sat there wishing I was literally anywhere else, but I was there.”

Darcy added: “They suspect I’ve got Austen Spectrum Disorder.”

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