An autistic woman has been accused of fraud following reports of her emotional and energetic cheques bouncing, authorities have stated.
Lottie Fitzgerald, 34, is due to appear in court later this month charged with “displaying unreasonable optimism with no basis in precedent”, as well as eleventy billion counts of “misrepresenting her capacity for doing stuff”.
Prosecutor Liz McHodge, 46, commented: “The prosecution intends to show how Ms. Fitzgerald wove an intricate web of deception, ensnaring everyone in her orbit – even herself.”
“Like many con artists, Ms. Fitzgerald likely began to believe her own hype,” McHodge continued. “Which is why her ‘I’d love to come to your barbecue, thanks so much for inviting me,’ sounded so sincere.”
“But when it comes to mens rea, we have to apply the reasonable man test. Would a reasonable man expect to be able to attend a Friday evening barbecue in the arse end of east London after a long week of sitting in an open-plan office listening to Deborah wanging on about her side hustle selling supplements, when on every other Friday this year that man has ended up locking himself in a dark room, not emerging until the following Monday? Does that sound like a reasonable thing to believe?”
Fitzgerald commented: “I’d love to come to your criminal trial, thanks so much for inviting me!”
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