How to live with a person without autism
Living with a person who’s living without autism can be a unique challenge. It’s not their fault that they suffer from not having autism — but that doesn’t reduce the impact their condition has on you. If you’re struggling to live with a person without...
See?! Autistic woman resists urge to wave diagnosis in face of everyone she’s ever had beef with
A newly diagnosed autistic woman has miraculously refrained from contacting everyone who’s ever misunderstood her socially, sources have confirmed. Paige Thomas, 28 – who finally received her autism diagnosis last week after three years on an NHS waiting list – described the development as “in...
We didn’t want to give her the autism label, say parents of woman with five mental health diagnoses
A couple has expressed relief that their now-adult autistic daughter didn’t receive her diagnosis in childhood – despite developing a string of psychiatric illnesses during that time. Paul and Mary Shinter, 56 and 58, had their suspicions “something was off” since Paige – now 25...
Non-autistic friend who cancelled plans apologises for causing untold joy
A non-autistic friend who cancelled plans is really sorry to give you five hours of your delicious routine back, it has been rumoured. Before postponing indefinitely, Kelsey Dacey, 31, was scheduled to meet you for a coffee at 11am on Saturday – at the exact...
I see beyond her autism, says woman staring at girlfriend’s tits
A woman who bravely met an autistic woman for a drink realised there was much more to her than her autism when she noticed something else first: an absolutely impeccable rack. When Beth Hapworth, 28, first noticed her date Emma Bernard, 33, across the bar,...
Autistic child who “can’t express love” to parents declares undying devotion to cat
An autistic child whose parents claim is “incapable of showing affection” regularly hugs and kisses her cat, Trevor, it has been rumoured. Avery Rice, seven, was diagnosed as autistic after her parents noticed she wasn’t achieving regular milestones – such as looking them in the...
Romance! How to plan an autistic date that’ll make the neurotypicals say “n’aaaaaaaw”
If two autistic people go on a date and no neurotypicals are around to gawk at them like they’re at a petting zoo, did it even happen? Set the mood with insipid music meant for toddlers Nothing gets two autistic adults in the mood like...
Social interaction doomed to failure after dress rehearsal goes too well
An autistic man is dreading an upcoming trip to the pub after practising in the mirror went ominously well, it has been rumoured. Ryan Wilkins, 38, has been on edge about the upcoming casual beer with his university friend, Lucas Fletcher, 39, since they put...
Love rat! Autistic man cheats on long-term T-shirt
An autistic man’s T-shirt is devastated to discover that after five years of exclusivity, its owner has purchased a second one, sources have revealed. The black cotton T-shirt had recently celebrated five happy years with autistic man, Dexter Livingstone, 29, but was left “shocked and...
Hope for recently dumped autistic woman as she finally reaches ugly-sobbing-to-Taylor-Swift stage of grief
A newly dumped autistic woman’s friends have expressed optimism about her recovery, as she was overheard bawling her eyes out to the new Taylor Swift album. Paige Thomas, 25, first streamed The Tortured Poets Department LP several days after she was left by now-ex-boyfriend, Dexter...
