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    Family, News

    Autistic person asks to choose own family this Christmas 

    An autistic person has decided to select their own family for Christmas this year, sources have confirmed. Kit McGodden, 31, from Derby, ultimately came to the decision after years of drunken arguments with glass baubles being thrown, before their family of four ingested turkey in...
    Elsa Williams, 9 months ago 1 min read  
    News, Relationships

    “Unfiltered” autistic woman actually thinking many atrocious things she’s not saying  

    An autistic woman described by colleagues as “totally unfiltered” actually, alarmingly does have a filter that’s catching a high proportion of her horrifying thoughts, it has been rumoured.  Admin assistant Natasha Weaving, 23, has acquired a reputation for saying whatever is on her mind at...
    Sara Gibbs, 9 months ago 1 min read  
    Health, News, Relationships

    Neurotypicals and autistics to compromise with medium talk  

    Allistic and autistic people have agreed to meet in the middle by engaging in medium talk, it has been announced.  In a deal brokered by expert peace negotiators, questions such as “how are you?” will now be answered with “fine, thanks” and no more than...
    Sara Gibbs, 9 months ago 1 min read  
    Friendships, News

    Argh! Autistic woman can’t tell anyone how well she’s keeping secret  

    An autistic woman is reportedly “losing her fucking mind” due to being unable to tell anyone how competently she’s keeping a secret, it has been rumoured. Paige Thomas, 40, who found out the freakiest shit about a friend’s husband, Jack Harrington, 45, has been sworn...
    Sara Gibbs, 9 months ago 1 min read  
    Family, News

    Autistic woman cast as villain in family drama 

    An autistic woman has expressed gratitude for “the role of a lifetime” having been cast as the main antagonist in her lifelong family drama, sources have revealed. Growing up, Paige Thomas, 31, from Dewsbury, was typecast as “spoiled” and “absolutely impossible to please” – despite...
    Elsa Williams, 10 months ago 1 min read  
    Friendships, News

    I wasn’t bullied, says woman just playfully ostracised at school 

    An autistic woman who was regularly targeted by her entire class remains certain she wasn’t bullied in primary school, it has been confirmed. Paige Thomas, 29, from Preston, said: “Those years evoke such precious memories! Girls confronting me in the toilets, chasing me down corridors...
    Elsa Williams, 10 months ago 1 min read  
    Friendships, News, Relationships

    Friend who politely asked about special interest unaware they’ve committed rest of life to hearing about it  

    A non-autistic friend who asked a polite question about an autistic woman’s special interest has no idea that they will be hearing about it until they’re dead, it has been rumoured.  Pippa Durham, 29, made the fatal error when Paige Thomas, 36, mentioned her love...
    Sara Gibbs, 10 months ago 1 min read  
    Love, News

    Flirting? Autistic woman thought ghost was just really into pottery 

    An autistic potter has only just realised that she has been conducting an intense love affair with a ghost for the last three months, and not just teaching him about creating earthenware, it has been announced.  Dexter Livingstone, 27, started turning up in the workshop...
    Andrew Hickey, 10 months ago 2 min read  
    Love, News, Relationships

    Autistic woman celebrates spooky season by getting ghosted again  

    An autistic woman has marked the arrival of spooky season by getting ghosted once more, it has been rumoured.  Niamh Callaghan, 26, had been engaging in flirty banter with Cameron Brereton, 29, for a little over three weeks when he abruptly disappeared from all social...
    Sara Gibbs, 11 months ago 1 min read  
    Love, News, Relationships

    Torn apart! My therapist hates his therapist 

    An autistic couple have reportedly split after realising they have incompatible therapists.  Dexter Livingstone, 35, and Paige Thomas, 32, made the decision to end their one-year relationship as psychotherapists Becky Armitage and Olivia Buckingham couldn’t make things work.  Thomas said: “Dexter and I really did...
    Sara Gibbs, 11 months ago 1 min read  
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