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    Friendships, Health, News

    Only non-dyspraxic in autistic friend group tasked with opening all the crisps  

    The only non-dyspraxic person in an autistic friendship group has been officially appointed Chief Crisp Packet Opener, it has been announced.  Dexter Livingstone, 28, nicknamed Dextrous Dexter for his ability to use his fingers without somehow instigating a nuclear meltdown, has also been tasked with...
    Sara Gibbs, 5 months ago 1 min read  
    Friendships, News

    Cute! Autistic best friends take turns to have mental health crises  

    A pair of autistic best friends have been described as “adorable” for their habit of alternating their respective mental health crises, it has been reported.  Kelsey Dacey, 27 and Becky Armitage, 29, have implemented a relay-race system to ensure that only one of them is...
    Sara Gibbs, 5 months ago 1 min read  
    Friendships, News

    Argh! Autistic woman can’t tell anyone how well she’s keeping secret  

    An autistic woman is reportedly “losing her fucking mind” due to being unable to tell anyone how competently she’s keeping a secret, it has been rumoured. Paige Thomas, 40, who found out the freakiest shit about a friend’s husband, Jack Harrington, 45, has been sworn...
    Sara Gibbs, 6 months ago 1 min read  
    Friendships, News

    I wasn’t bullied, says woman just playfully ostracised at school 

    An autistic woman who was regularly targeted by her entire class remains certain she wasn’t bullied in primary school, it has been confirmed. Paige Thomas, 29, from Preston, said: “Those years evoke such precious memories! Girls confronting me in the toilets, chasing me down corridors...
    Elsa Williams, 7 months ago 1 min read  
    Friendships, News, Relationships

    Friend who politely asked about special interest unaware they’ve committed rest of life to hearing about it  

    A non-autistic friend who asked a polite question about an autistic woman’s special interest has no idea that they will be hearing about it until they’re dead, it has been rumoured.  Pippa Durham, 29, made the fatal error when Paige Thomas, 36, mentioned her love...
    Sara Gibbs, 7 months ago 1 min read  
    Friendships, News

    Honestly! Autistic woman REALLY glad she went 

    An autistic woman reluctantly dragged to a bar by a group of friends has insisted she had a really good time, sources have revealed. Emma Bernard, 27, from Netherton, described haunting waves of loneliness washing over her as the night progressed – which she could...
    Elsa Williams, 8 months ago 1 min read  
    Friendships, News

    Autistic woman calls in sick to friendship 

    An autistic woman currently unwell with a summer cold has spent the day apologising to friends for being a bit quieter than usual, it has been rumoured.  Pippa Durham, 26, considers her closest friendship to be a full-time job, and dutifully let Alma Montague, 28,...
    Sara Gibbs, 9 months ago 1 min read  
    Friendships, News

    Becky’s passive-aggressive Instagram story triggers global RSD crisis  

    A woman’s cryptically narky Instagram story has set off every neurodivergent person in the world’s rejection sensitive dysphoria, the government has confirmed.  Becky Armitage, 42, posted the following mysterious rant to the social media platform: “Some people are seriously self-absorbed. Get over yourselves #Toxic.” University...
    Sara Gibbs, 9 months ago 1 min read  
    Friendships, Health, News

    Woman who told depressed friend to “reach out” didn’t mean to HER  

    A woman who told her clinically depressed autistic friend to reach out if she felt bad meant for her to reach out to someone else, it has been confirmed.  Karen Hoyland, 38, told Emma Bernard, 34, that she should “talk to someone about these feelings,”...
    Sara Gibbs, 9 months ago 1 min read  
    Friendships, News

    Autistic woman “supporting close friend through hard time” actually thinking of TV character  

    An autistic woman whose emotional resources have been depleted by “holding space for a loved one” is actually referring to Toadie from the Australian soap opera, Neighbours. Freya Emerson, 33, has become increasingly concerned for Jarrod “Toadfish” Rebecchi since he recently started exhibiting erratic behaviour...
    Sara Gibbs, 10 months ago 1 min read  
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