Comfortable silence reaches sixth glorious hour
Two autistic friends have been sitting on the same sofa together all afternoon without needing to interact with each other in any way, sources have reported. Their comfortable, shared silence has just reached its sixth glorious hour. Talia Cohen, 20, is currently playing a puzzle...
Autistic man sets reminder to nod during friend’s lengthy monologue
An autistic man listening to his friend’s tedious droning has surreptitiously set a reminder on his phone to remind him when to nod and smile, sources have revealed. Naveed Azkhat, 26, has reportedly finally discovered a conversation topic so dull that he’s had to resort...
Visit of beloved friend puts autistic man in three-day fight-or-flight spiral
An autistic man has been sent into an adrenaline-filled three-day fight-or-flight spiral in advance of seeing a beloved friend he has known for most of his life, sources have revealed. Noah Michaels, 43, has known his friend Ethan Stern, 44, since childhood, where they attended...
Optimist! Maybe autistic woman will enjoy clubbing this time
An autistic woman who has never once enjoyed any form of noisy, crowded nightlife sincerely believes – for some reason – that she might like it this time, it has been rumoured. Ima Onwugbenu, 22, who likes peace, quiet and solitude, has reportedly inexplicably convinced...
Autistic woman’s “best friend” was not informed
An autistic woman’s best friend in the entire world has been completely unaware of her title this whole time, sources have said. Sabheen Bhatt, 19, reportedly considers Krista Shure, 20, her sister from another mister, but the first Shure heard of it was in a...
First domino falls in undiagnosed neurodivergent friend group
The first of a group of undiagnosed neurodivergent friends has finally figured it out, making it only a matter of time before the others start toppling into a big heap of late-discovered burnout, reports have indicated. Talia Cohen, 28, who started to suspect she might...
Autistic woman really sorry to bother you with her friendship
An autistic woman has spent every single moment of her friendship with you worried that she’s intruding on your precious time here on Earth, it has been revealed. Megan Aldrich, 24, reportedly loves talking to you for the fleeting moment before she starts worrying she’s...
“We mustn’t leave it so long next time” says AuDHD friend who’ll see you in a decade
An AuDHD friend who has vowed to get better at staying in touch will see you whenever the next parent dies, sources have confirmed. Jay Chester, 40, can’t believe it’s been so long since you last met up and genuinely intends to remedy the issue...
Housemates’ conflicting sensory needs predicted to result in horrifying bloodbath
A neurodivergent household in which individuals have differing sensory needs is a situation that can only end in some sort of four-way duel, experts have warned. The warning came after residents of a suburban dwelling in Nottingham recently reported an ambulance permanently parked outside their...
Autistic and ADHD friends realise they have never retained a single fact about each other
A pair of lifelong friends have recently realised they know almost nothing about each other thanks to their autism and ADHD, it has been reported. Ben Espenson, 24, who is autistic, and Naveed Azkhat, 25, who has ADHD, harbour a great deal of affection towards...
