A very brave abled man has made it his personal mission to protect public facilities from anyone who doesn’t look disabled enough, sources have claimed.
Robert Noot, 64, a self-proclaimed champion of those poor disableds, reportedly enjoys nothing more than “calling out” people with disabled parking badges, using disabled loos or generally minding their own business while looking too “normal”.
Speaking from the local hospital, where he was enacting his daily patrols of the car park, Noot commented: “I’m here to confront anyone using a disabled badge who can walk the five metres from their car to the hospital entrance. It’s not fair on people with real disabilities who are born with wheels instead of legs.”
“It’s bad enough these fakers are getting rich off my taxes,” Noot continued. “At least the taxes I would be paying if I could find a job that accommodates my patrolling duties.”
“I’m the hero the world didn’t ask for. Seriously, nobody asked me to do this. In fact, I’ve been asked repeatedly to stop it. Hey, you – is that a disabled loo you’re heading towards? On your hind legs?”
Noot could not be reached for further comment as he had been rendered silent by the stranger he approached showing him their colostomy bag.
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