An autistic woman who claimed to have a “spiky learning profile” has clarified it’s technically more of a stump, according to reports.
Emma Bernard, 29, from Bury, was labelled as “creatively gifted” during her schooling not due to her unique and original talent for the arts – but due to being impressively terrible at most other things.
“At school, they told me they thought I was headed for something arty,” Bernard said. “Though in hindsight, maybe that’s because they knew leaving me in charge of a Bunsen burner for five minutes probably classed as a health-and-safety hazard. Especially after that time I managed to set my cardigan sleeve on fire. And Ryan Wilkins’ eyebrows.”
“Weirdly, they also didn’t want me to bake scones, do woodwork, or charge around with a hockey stick,” continued Bernard. “They insisted I had to focus on honing my main talent – pipe-cleaner crafts – in a visible space where teachers could keep a close eye on me.”
Bernard was last seen typing “Pipe Cleaner Assistant” into Indeed to see if there were any job openings.
Like what you’ve read so far? Make us your new special interest! Help us grow The Daily Tism by sharing our articles, following us on Instagram, Bluesky TikTok and Facebook and subscribing to our Patreon for exclusive content that’ll have your neurotypical family saying “I’m not sure I’m the target audience”.