An autistic woman who claimed to have a “spiky learning profile” has clarified it’s technically more of a stump, according to reports.
Emma Bernard, 29, from Bury, was labelled as “creatively gifted” during her schooling not due to her unique and original talent for the arts – but due to being impressively terrible at most other things.
“At school, they told me they thought I was headed for something arty,” Bernard said. “Though in hindsight, maybe that’s because they knew leaving me in charge of a Bunsen burner for five minutes probably classed as a health-and-safety hazard. Especially after that time I managed to set my cardigan sleeve on fire. And Ryan Wilkins’ eyebrows.”
“Weirdly, they also didn’t want me to bake scones, do woodwork, or charge around with a hockey stick,” continued Bernard. “They insisted I had to focus on honing my main talent – pipe-cleaner crafts – in a visible space where teachers could keep a close eye on me.”
Bernard was last seen typing “Pipe Cleaner Assistant” into Indeed to see if there were any job openings.
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