An autistic woman has announced plans to use her one healthy snack choice to “offset” her evening of eating junk food.

Merve Öztürk, 25, who just begrudgingly ate one carrot, is now allowed to eat whatever the fuck she wants, because that’s definitely how nutrition works. 

Öztürk said: “From what I understand, the exchange rate is one healthy orange food for an unhealthy orange food. I earned these Jaffa Cakes and Wotsits.”

“To be honest, I experienced a thought about fruit this morning, so I probably didn’t even need the carrot,” Öztürk continued. “Still, belt and braces.”

“They wouldn’t do strawberries and cream at the tennis if cream wasn’t healthy,” Öztürk added, spraying whipped cream from the can directly into her mouth.

Öztürk’s GP, Dr. Graeme Hart, commented: “Merve should definitely enjoy this while she’s young because hooooo boy… never mind, I don’t want to spoil the surprise.”

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