An autistic woman has won a special prize for being fastidious when sorting out the recycling, sources have revealed. 

Freya Emerson, 33, was awarded the East Moorwood Borough Council Prize for Excellence in Recycling and Careful Removal of Sellotape. She received a £10 book token and a handshake from the mayor. 

“Some people think you can put margarine tubs and yoghurt pots in the main recycling,” said Emerson, “but actually, in this borough, you can’t.”

“I’ve started getting up before dawn so I can go through the neighbours’ bins too.”

Mayor Christine Smout, 55, commented, “It’s all utterly meaningless because fossil fuel companies are responsible for 75% of greenhouse gas emissions and 90% of carbon dioxide emissions, so we’re all fucked anyway.”

“But still,” she added, “well done, Freya.”

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