An autistic woman who claimed not to be hungry is about to receive the shock of her life, according to sources.
Christine Smout, 37, has not eaten for hours, but, despite decades of experience, will reportedly not realise she needs to eat until the empty feeling in her stomach rapidly escalates into a full-blown medical emergency that ruins her day, week and possibly even her life.
Smout said: “It’d be a good idea to pick up a snack while I’m here at the shops, but I’m not currently hungry, nor can I imagine being hungry in the near future. I think feeling ‘peckish’ is a conspiracy. You’re either uncomfortably full or uncomfortably hungry, and everything in between is a psyop by the people who make Doritos.”
“There have been countless occasions in the past where it’s gotten to the point of gnawing agony and homicidal rage, but how am I supposed to predict that? I’m autistic, not psychic.”
“What do you mean, ‘pre-empt that I’ll be hungry and plan accordingly’? I can’t pre-empt shit. I’m too busy empt-ing.”
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