An autistic woman has knowingly joined a pyramid scheme in the hopes of gaining some much-needed structure in her life, it has been reported.
Niamh Callaghan, 31, was offered the chance to escape her chaotic life when a former classmate tried to charm her into hawking supplements to other unsuspecting women. Callaghan gleefully accepted, relishing the chance to ruin her own life instead of allowing other people to do it for her.
Callaghan said: “I feel so much better now that I’ve got this stable downward trajectory in place. My ‘manager’, who only ever refers to me as ‘hunny’, says I’ll make it to the next level if I sell 300 more packs of Dragonfruit and Açai Adrenal Refurbishment pills, and the best part is it’ll cost me even more!”
“I never have to deal with uncertainty,” Callaghan continued. “Because I know she’s always lying, and I know this is only ever going to get worse.”
Callaghan told reporters that wilfully submitting to a scam has greatly improved her mental health. “I’ve given up constant fear and dread in favour of blissful resignation. I’m the architect of my own economic downfall, and no one can take that away from me.”
“I’ve got it all planned out,” she added. “I’ve already chosen the bridge I’m going to be living under.”
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